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Enjoy every moment of comfort you have. A friend, love, a moment with your pet. Warm and comfy.

It can go in an instant. You own nothing. Except those memories.

Rescue moments of childhood pleasure from your trauma. You had "smoll" moments of joy in your shiity, beat up, horrifying childhood. It took me years to realise, by writing my horror down, and reading it once a day, for a week, it detached me..

Every story was horrible, one true story a week. Read over and over.

I put the notebook by the toilet. Excellent thought spot

Read the memory that haunts me everyday while pooping.

By the time you're 7 stories in, the first one is laughable.

This is the way. #PTSD is real

That is all anyone gets. Moments.

There are moments in your trauma. Beautiful moments.

I'm not sure how I feel about sharing my mental health and physical disability conditions and info or how much to do it in good taste.

On one hand I'm an extremely straight forward and obsessively honest person. I like sharing because it's genuinely just authentic for me and I also just have nothing to hide. In a way I'm doing it right now.
As well as, it's useful. Speaking up about disabilities can and does inspire others to feel more comfortable and confident about themselves, understanding they're not alone with their difficulties.

On the other hand, the victim card sickens me. I've had enough of being a victim. I've had enough of people feeling sorry for me and of identity based conversations saying that just because I have certain conditions it somehow gives me a greater right for attention or support when in reality so many people have massive difficulties that may not be as clearly diagnosable and still hugely impact their lives and the way they deal with failures and successes.

I am deeply grateful for the many people who have supported me because of my traumas, abuse, physical chronic illnesses and many trauma related mental disabilities. Empathy is powerful and when someone shares the least we can do is listen with open curiosity and kindness.

But if I keep emphasizing how much of a victim I am, I might just be a victim forever. If I keep inviting people to feel sorry for me, I might create a reality in which I'm forever weak. And is it my fault? No. But is it my responsibility to change it? Absofuckinglutely.

I'm already on this path but sometimes I stumble. Sometimes I still use the victim card with myself and others.

The line is thin but critical, between being aware and taking good care of my many disabilities, to letting them disable me completely, or even just, more than they must.

I may forever have times in which I'll suffer from OCD episodes, panic attacks, mental breakdowns and clinical depression. But I'll do my best to limit those symptoms as much as I possibly can and not allow them from avoiding me of a good life.

I will forever have NVLD, but instead of letting it define what I can or can not do, I'll find alternative ways to do and understand anything I need to achieve my goals.

I may forever suffer from IBD and anemia. But I'll do what I can to manage and if I find a way, heal. And as much as possible, as much as healthy, continue my life with those illnesses, and aspire for joy and health as much as anybody else.

I won't beg for government support of any kind, I'll never take a loan ever in my life, I won't depend mentally on loved ones. I know others may have to. I had times in which I had to as well. But as long as I can change my mindset and health to be more capable of full independence, I place my responsibility and focus on doing so.

I'm a fully independent business owner and I am happy. Inconsistently happy, struggling but happy, overly stressed but happy. In love and happy, studying and working what I love and happy. Living a very strange reality impacted by war but happy. And yes, I have illnesses. And yes, I have many disabilities. But as for my identity, I can recognize my illnesses and take care of them, but I am healthy, I am not ill. I can acknowledge and understand my disabilities, I have many differences and many things I can do better than others naturally and many that I am naturally a lot worse at than most people. But I am not disabled. In fact, I'm completely capable of reaching my goals, it just requires different ways which I'm creative enough to figure out.

It's very hard. It's mind shattering sometimes. It's my body crumbling other times. But it's the truth.

So here I give up my victim card in society and in front of myself and consider myself an equally capable human being.

Capable of artistic, financial and wellness growth.

Capable of everything I want, but most importantly - capable of good influence on others through art.

Yours,
Emmanuelle

#disablity #mentalhealth #ocd #ptsd #anemia #ibd #nonbinary #jewish #israel #israeli #art #artist #artists

Apparently #longcovid makes the physical reaction to #ptsd even worse.

The brain works slower, so it is harder to get out of the fear that grips you. Anger used to be rare, now it's becoming more common.

You have no Idea what people are going through. Please don't attack on the internet. Some of us have been in solitary confinement for 5 years now.

Your temporary whims can break us. Your selfrighteous need to attack someone.

Solitary confinement is torture. This is the only connection with the world.

STFU about us and post on your own timeline. No need to correct us with your American pop word religion.

:boost_ok: MUTUAL AID POST 230/500 :boost_ok:

I'm Sky, an #indigenous #nonbinary #transfem living in rural #Virginia

my partners, our son, and I need help

my partners are #disabled and entirely unable to work

I have #autism and #adhd (as well as #ptsd from being violently hate-crimed) but I still manage to hold a full-time job, but it doesn't pay enough

my water bill is almost three months late, I need $300 for it

I also need $100 for rent (I have the $500 due Sunday, but I still owe $100 for November)

I'll also need some additional money for food, as they cut back our food stamps

my goal is $500

please, if you can spare anything to send our way, we'd be so grateful

also, boost for visibility (thanks!) :boostRequest:

paypal.com/paypalme/tsbarnes
cash.app/tskybarnes
ko-fi.com/skybarnes

#mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #begpost #begposting #help #rent #bills #food #trans #nonbinary #enby #audhd #polyamory #actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #DisabledMutualAid #transmutualaid #transmutualaidrequest #neurodivergent

Pay Thea Barnes using PayPal.MePayPal.Me

:boost_ok: MUTUAL AID POST 0/500 :boost_ok:

I'm Sky, an #indigneous
#nonbinary #transfem living in rural #Virginia

my partners, our son, and I need help

my partners are #disabled and entirely unable to work

I have #autism and #adhd (as well as #ptsd from being violently hate-crimed) but I still manage to hold a full-time job, but it doesn't pay enough

my water bill is almost three months late, I need $300 for it

I also need $100 for rent (I have the $500 due Sunday, but I still owe $100 for November)

I'll also need some additional money for food, as they cut back our food stamps

my goal is $500

please, if you can spare anything to send our way, we'd be so grateful

also, boost for visibility (thanks!) :boostRequest:

paypal.com/paypalme/tsbarnes
cash.app/$tskybarnes
ko-fi.com/skybarnes

#mutualaid #mutualaidrequest #begpost #begposting #help #rent #bills #food #trans #nonbinary #enby #audhd #polyamory #actuallyadhd #actuallyautistic #DisabledMutualAid #transmutualaid #transmutualaidrequest #neurodivergent

Pay Thea Barnes using PayPal.MePayPal.Me

OK the eviction notice put me in full #PTSD mode. That is why the #Mastodon admin rebuke put me over the edge.

I couldn't read the letter because it wes tiny lettering and in Icelandic. I felt I was being attacked from all sides.

But I found that I have 3 months to refute the charges of being a "filthy foreigner".

It's because of the cats.

The thought of losing Jonsey after 10 years broke my heart.

Then someone called the cops on me when I put up a post in Reykjavik saying I was too sick to care for the cat who needs medical attention.

They meant to do a health check, I guess they misunderstood my post as a plea for myself, not Daisy.

Never call the cops on an #indigenous or other oppressed person. We don't see them like "protected" people do.

I was in a complete state of fear, so I may have been too harsh.

Then I was rebuked here for saying Nazis killed *ypsies.

I even dated a gy*** in New Orleans, he was not Roma.

He hated that word, to them, Rom is an ancient slur. Also in South America, where we travelled with people who called themselves gitanos with pride. Spanish for *ypsy. They are also not Roma. Neither are the Irish.

Americans can't just put people in neat little boxes and expect nomads all over the world to obey their FUNDAMENTAL stupidity.

We travelled with nomads my whole life. They are not Roma. They hate the word.

Anne has been conditioned to believe abuse is normal. Trained to believe fear, hiding, and secrets are routine for everyone.

Law prevents mothers with children from escaping, unless she abandons her children to the abuser, to keep another generation under the thumb of abuse.

Mistie Jolin escaped a past she'd rather forget. Buried deep. Hid the former abuse from her mind, and memory, like unwanted baggage.

#Bullying
#DomesticViolence
#PTSD

uncoveredmyths.wixsite.com/unc

amazon.com/stores/Abagail-Brow

please help my friend meatmech! they are trapped in a dangerous, extremely racist town in the middle of nowhere and fundraising to escape. their neighbors make inappropriate comments about their body. they fear the cops because of their racist abusive ex boyfriend. they're alone and can't trust anyone and their mental health is in an awful place. theyre struggling to get reliable work. anything helps!

106/1200

gofund.me/196cbc0e

PayPal: mightymeatymech@gmail.com
Cashapp: $yungbbyHATE
BTC: bc1qd27dw70sa7xkudjyusr4m57wfd2dcpgu6txu2u
Stripe: donate.stripe.com/4gw6s82qk3E4

@mutualaid #mutualAid #MutualAidRequest #BlackMutualAid #BlackTransMutualAid #Fundraiser #crowdfund #transMutualAid #ACAB #neurodivergent #mentalHealth #mentalIllness #PTSD #HelpFolksLive2024 #HelpRequest #queer #trans #bisexual #transgender #nonBinary #transCrowdfund